| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2009|01:31 pm] |
White tiles
Smooth and cool
Placed carefully
Dirty fingers
Creating clean
Surfaces
Egyptian cotton
Sheets
White
Muslin
Searching for
White walls
Wrapped in a white
Cocoon
To keep the darkness
Away Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2009|12:05 am] |
every time i come here to write
my last hidy hole
im overwhelmed
by all ive left unsaid
and my words
feel stunted
they slip into
old groves
and settle uneasy
i feel less obscure here
these days
i write better
in annominity
truer
less guarded
i flow unchecked
what is the most
universal human trait
fear or laziness? |
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| cells that fire together wire together |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|08:43 pm] |
I am afraid
Of people
Suddenly
As if there
Is a fragility
Inside me
As if I can bear
No more
Hurt
I feel like
A doll
In the social
Arena
Smiling
Responding
Yet always
Taking deeper meanings
To what is said
Picking up on
Undercurrents
Of angst
Feeling the unease
Permeate
I’m losing that feeling
Of truly connecting
With others
how do I bridge
This gap inside me
Where did it come from so
Suddenly
Or did I just forget
It was there all along
im not alone |
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| the tower |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|08:32 pm] |
I need to have mediation
With myself
Explore all the little thoughts
I’ve stashed in old boxes
They have dog eared edges
And faded colours
They represent all
I used to think
I used to say
everything happens for a reason
I built my life
on that small raft
But then she turned to me
Honest sad eyes
Said I used to
Believe that too
Until she was born
I had to watch her suffer every day
I can’t see a reason for her
I think life is just random
Quantum physics if you will
Yes we can take
All we have been dealt and try
With our innately human survival tendencies
To see a positive or reason
But I don’t think there is one
I looked across at her baby
a small body hunched over painfully
I had no idea how to wrap that theory
Around her like a soothing blanket
all the pain I have seen lately
I felt my fingers trying to clutch
That blanket around my shoulders
But in reality
It was too small
life is colder
Without the warmth
Of my magic |
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| mouse traps |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|08:19 pm] |
You don’t
Hear me
It’s as if my words
Split as they
Roll over your defences
You will
Seize
half of what
I say
Turn it inside out
Lay it before me
Like a dead mouse
Headless
You will say
This is what
You do to me
This is your words
and I scurry
trying to find
reframe
my context
all the while
my meaning
bleeds away
they say it is the
weather
more mice
this year
because its so
wet |
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| A dream you never wake from... |
[Jul. 21st, 2009|11:07 pm] |
I swam the river
swollen
flood waters
deep holes
spining
sucking down
it was eaiser
than it looked
i climbed
the hill
where you waited
i knew in
my minds eye
you would be there
safe
in the sun
your long hair
your welcome
I was about to arrive
I woke up
you died |
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| ...blink and youll miss it... |
[Jul. 21st, 2009|09:36 pm] |
youll be blind
to the courage
of heart
for absolute slaughter
not like her
she loves
gives
without hope
for moments
stories
words
lives to infuse her
so she may
nurse
all she has created
in the story box
of her beautiful mind
she will catch you up
at every turn
youll get a
glimpse
because
becoming is
her open arms
she is a
butterfly |
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| Fletcher Lynd Seagull |
[May. 6th, 2009|07:48 pm] |
There is an
ocean
in the vase
sitting
beside me
sparkle
reflected
from the gem
in its depths
the tide rises
untill cracks
appear
it stirs
the gentle winds
to furious storms
that rush over
my strings
leaving
discordant
lingering
saddness
in my heart
together
going back
apart
we learn
to see no
limitations
letting go
free flowing
melody
uncontained
love |
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| before |
[May. 6th, 2009|06:23 pm] |
i could become
dust
she walked
back into the room
clutching her
vase
mended
super glued in people
black painted in chemicals
sat it
tentativly
upon me
said
'it belongs to
you'
inside i
a string in question
rusted
unknowing
forced my self out
said
'no i can never
own that...
wouldnt want to
its weight
to much
please go
learn
how to fix it
using only it'
she sat
strumed me gently
her fingers
loving
her eyes glistened
'thank you'
deep within me
one string
pulled tighter
I am
mending
myself
back in tune
I am
hanging
by a string
called love |
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| as the purple breaks |
[May. 6th, 2009|06:12 pm] |
I will be
leaving
for more travels
on thinner skin
but at least
soon
i will hear
her say my
name
watch it tumble
from her mouth
where it rested
safely
in love |
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| in the room of my world |
[Apr. 26th, 2009|03:39 pm] |
dust will soon
cover
this piano
one rusted string
all it took
one note
to marr a tune
just a moment
when fingers
move
a fraction in
time
and
sweet
sound resounding
fading to
silence
inside
I sink
under
the weight of it
and settle
back onto myself
watching her
retreat
from the
room
her stance
proud
in a posture
broken
clutching
what is left
of her vase
to full
both of us
scratched
in the shatter
bearing
wounds that will scar
the curtain
has fallen
sun shines
through the
window
beams of light
showing the
gradual
desent
of dust |
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| Its been over for a long time |
[Apr. 24th, 2009|05:31 pm] |
close your eyes
suprise
gentle sweetness
opens
to build
a small red boat
white sails
viking no more
rather upsidedown
a cup of love
I put it in
water
watch
it capsise
refusing to sink
i fish it out
now it sits
dry
in the table
of my childhood
with all its
typically
viking
style
love stuck
the tentative
grip
of
cheap glue
I open my eyes |
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| when we were frieda |
[Apr. 13th, 2009|07:59 pm] |
after midnight
i laced
all my fears
tight
dressed in
deep bright
colours
weighed by earings
and flouncy shirts
I walked wet streets
my face painted
a mo and a mono
watched as recognition
dawned slowly
on their faces
Freida
I danced
drug free
fueled by emotion
until worried
took me home
where she writhed
in agony
i took her hand
drove slowly
carfully
to emergency
and felt my
worry
like my corset
unlaced
slowly
blissfully
ease
in the light
of dawn |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2009|01:04 am] |
the small cracks
in your lips
entice me
the uneven
surface
deceptively smooth
small hairs
that grow
on your high
cheek bones
whisper
and catch the light
your hand slips
around to
caress
as you tell
stories
family
all from your
sleeve
smattered
with bonds
deep connections
narravtives
sprinkling
to land in the
fine webs
of my mind
synapses firing
as i join
together
the facets
of you
like a crystal
multiple
fractures
light reflecting
i read
to your listening ears
and eyes distracted
of the 3rd n 4th
chakras
n all the while
her sprit sleeps
in a cat
curled
between us
I thought i had
lost you
in the thin face
of a stranger
but i had only
lost myself
in hormones
and old fears |
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| the symbolism of a moment |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|10:29 pm] |
I held
a pastel apricot
rainbow glazed
ceramic bowl
over the blue grey
chipped
concrete floor
this is our
relationship
Im holding
with sweaty
slippery fingers
the bowl you treasure
Im prepared to
smash it
like you are
with your addiction
you hold your
smoke tightly
and play all your
cards
slowly in your
desperate little
game of will
eventually
pointing
to our third party
your other love
hidden
under our matress
dwelling
beneath
our sleeping
spirits
this deceptive white
that consumes
you
I lock it away
in a black box
hold the key
on a necklace
protecting
my heart |
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| she said this is my grandmas country |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|10:11 pm] |
there is a
farmhouse
by the rivers edge
down the end
of a long drive way
two glass doors
one set slightly
ajar
white walls
surfaces polished
clean
i can see
my reflection
here
see you reaching
with longing
for a past
where you felt
safe
there is a risk
that raging
waters
could wash away
all i thought
i was
it lingers
like the sky
looms larger
and hangs low on
my brow
curling toes to
claw a grip in
grassy yet barren
flat land
I am exposed here
where i cant help
but lift
my face
to watch the
clouds
that hold
my fate |
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| reality rain cheque |
[Mar. 14th, 2009|02:51 am] |
tonight i went out
to my own
birthday party
alone
and all your friends
warned me about
who you really are
and your pattern
how you love
and then
discard
when you have
healed
i worry about
who you are
if these are your friends
you tell me
Im diffrent
like no other
they say im just another
fool
picking up the peices
of you
I am stronger for this
what i give to you
is mine for ever
what I betray myself
in love
I will lose for all time
they say you drain
its true
but im enduring
more than you know
enough to walk away
build myself
and still love you
always
but you will never
be the only soul
in my heart
you will never
trap this wild
instinctual heart
it belongs to me
and thats more
than i can say
for you...
loveless in a shell
of life
you dont even
know
how to love
i am sad for you
that you glimpsed
all i am
and lost
all we
could have been |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 12th, 2009|12:28 am] |
I can hear
my voice
rolling
over you
watching it
undulating
through
the chaos
in your thoughts
blood dripping
animals scratching
rising up
only to be calmed
by the heady
intoxicating
subtle changes
in my pitch
and tone
fairy tales
for the child
in your heart
that forgets
the moral
motivation
delicate words
dripping in safe
to drive
the drug induced
free floating
anxiety away |
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| the long night of our hearts |
[Mar. 12th, 2009|12:20 am] |
if the only sounds
in this night
were our hearts
talking
would it be
loud
this restless
yearning
light
slumber
or
the quiet slow
rumbeling
heavy
beat
of this
touch
as we rest
in contented
knowing |
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